Why?

It's like i dont even know you anymore from when i can first remember you, you never acted like this. You were different and now as i look back on 18 years of this i'm amazed we've come this far.... were we ever really close or did imagine things from the very beginning? Its like one minute your in our lives and the next your gone... sometimes i wonder what goes on in your head. I worry about you but of course i cant tell you that.

I will say though that you are stupid, smoking and dipping isn't how we were raised and you know that. All over some girl to. The day you passed out scared the crap out of me and i wanted to just totally skip work but i couldnt and i felt like i failed you somehow even though i know i didnt. Things have changed so much, we're like night and day and yet even though we were raised so much alike after her you changed you havent been the same and quiet frankly it scares me!

Sometimes i wonder what you've done and if its your friends fault! I feel like crying now and i'll feel dumb if i do... so yeah i guess i just wanna say i still love you cause your my brother but all i want to know is why? If she's that important why cant you let her go?!